Passion

I am neariing the biggest transition of my life thus far. With this approaching I have been thinking about myself and where I have come and where I am going. One recurring battle that has been going on in my head is the attempt to answer a question that I am sure all have at least faced, if not, will face, at some point in their lives. "What is my passion?"

When I ask others about their passions they all relate to helping people. You know the typical answers, "I want to help children in Africa, I want to feed the homeless, create a school, etc..." Those things are all nice and I would love to play an active role in, but I cannot say that any of those things would be my passion. After much contemplation I have realized that I don't have a passion, or at least not yet. I mean I have dreams and goals in life, but I don't have anything right now, that if every aspect of my life went to shit, would be my driving force.

Further, the things that I have in my life that come close to a passion, does not directly relate to helping the needy, children or curing diseases, etc.... The things that I think could possibly be my passion could provide me with a better than average monetary benefit. So my question is, "is that selfish?"

I posed that question to one of my friends, and her response, which I must say made me feel better was this...
Everyone is put on this earth for a reason, and if it is your purpose to work in corporate America and make millions, that is OK. Although your passion may directly benefit you, it does not mean that it is not helping others. For example, a person could own a successful retail clothing line, but this allows them to provide others with jobs. And who knows maybe that allows someone else to further their passion.

A lot of people may critize a person whose passion is owning/operating a retail clothing store (or whatever it is) as selfish. However, at the end of our conversation we came up with this...

A lot of the times when people criticize another's passion on the grounds that the it is selfish, it is because they themselves don't have a passion of their own.

Don't Let Me Be Misunderstood

This one of my favorite songs right now by Nina Simone. It is not reflective of my life right now, so don't try to read into it.


Baby do you understand me now
If sometimes you see that I'm mad
Doncha know that no one alive can always be an angel?
When everything goes wrong you see some bad

Well I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

Ya know sometimes baby I'm so carefree
With a joy that's hard to hide
Then sometimes again it seems that all I have is worry
And then you burn to see my other side

But I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

If I seem edgy I want you to knowI never meant to take it out on you
Life has its problems and I get more than my share,
But that's me one thing I never mean to do
Cause I love you

Oh baby I'm just human
Don't you know I have faults like anyone?
Sometimes I find myself alone regretting
Some little foolish thing
Ssome simple thing that I've done

I'm just a soul whose intentions are good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood
I try so hard
So don't let me be misunderstood

Have I Missed the Best Days of My Life?

Well, I have enjoyed my day off, commemorating the fact that my law school classes are now officially over. However, my day off is over and the hell has begun. The hell we call finals, and then later down the road, the hell we call "THE BAR".

I need a vacation...but can't get one till August; shit, I may not even be able to get one then. Is this the real world? Is this what I waited 24 years to experience? Have the best days of my life just passed? If so, this sucks!!!! What happened to my years of carefree behavior? Are they now all gone? Can I go back and reclaim a few moments?

You know life is so funny. When I was in high school all I wanted to do was get out and go to college, but once I was in college, I realized what a blast I had in high school. What other stage in your life can you have no responsibilities and time to just play? Then in college, I just dreamed of graduation, but once I was in law school, all I could think about was what a great time I had in college. Then I reached law school, which by the way, I currently feel was not the most fun I have had. But my question is, if I felt this way about high school and college (both to a much lesser extent), then am I going to look back at my law school experience as a "wonderful" time once I start working? And if this is a trend, do I have to wait till I retire to realize how great work was, or will that always suck? Haha, I think that will always suck.

By the way, I have seen some stylistically creative blogs, but I can't seem to figure out how to change mine at all. So if anyone can tell me how to get rid of those "edit-me" links on the side of my page, I would greatly appreciate it.

22 YEARS OF SCHOOLING...Over in 1 Day

Today is my last day of regular law school classes. It is a bitter sweet moment. On one side I am ready to transition into a different phase of my life, but on the other, I am not ready to work. I am sure most people feel like this at some point or the other, but the time has come to move forward. Based on my feelings it is understandable why people become degree seekers; that is the easy way out.

The countdown, to the last day of classes has ended, and now the countdown to graduation day begins. As my favorite quote states, "every ending is a new beginning". Aint that the truth.

So here are is a picture from my law school days. Doesn't look like much studying is going on in this picture. :) Hey, a girl's gotta have fun.

Halloween 2002: Brandi(AKA Bond Girl 1), Jenny (AKA Foxy Cleopatra) and Me (AKA Bond Girl 2)

Change of Heart..."GO GET THAT MONEY"

Yesterday I spent ALL DAY writing a paper for my Sports Law class. "Yes, this is the same paper that I should have completed last weekend". Regardless, the "rough draft" has now been completed.

I began writing my paper at about 9 AM and by noon, my perspective on my paper topic had completely changed. My paper deals with the phenomena oh high school basketball players foregoing college for the NBA. Initially, I believed that these players should be required to attend college before entering the NBA because of the benefits that college has to offer. However, after doing some research, my beliefs began to weaken, and I was being pulled by the other side of the argument. I attempted to hold on to my view point as long as possible, but after reading a few articles on the reasons why people attend college and think about my personal reason for attending college and law school, I had to jump ship.

The idea behind these articles was that people go to college to increase their earning potential; I went to college to increase my earning potential. Now these athletes directly out of high school are making SIGNIFICANTLY more than the average college graduate and SIGNIFICANTLY more than than the average lawyer or doctor. I am not discrediting the personal growth value that college has, such as providing a person with increased analytical ability and critical thinking. However, these are just as attainable at a later date if the player chooses to go to college after his stint with the NBA has passed.

So I say to those high school players who have the skills to play at the professional level (THAT IS VERY IMPORTANT): "GO GET THAT MONEY!!!!!!!!"

Life...That's What It Is...

Over the past two years I have come to realize how short life is. Several things have brought me to this realization. When I look back at my life it seems like I have reached where I am very fast. I have also had to come to grips with the mortality of my parents. As a child, you don't imagine losing your parents. However as you get older, you realize how fragile life can be. Several deaths have occurred around me over the past couple years. The sad and scary part is that they have all been of very young people who did not had a chance to experience LIFE. Even today, while I was at school in a professor's office I noticed a photo of two very young people on her wall. When I looked at the inscription under the picture it had their birthdays followed by RIP. They were only 18 years old when they passed in 2000. They were younger than me, and were just about to graduate high school. The image of these two teens was stuck in my head all day. What was even eerier, is that once I got home, I learned from a very DEAR person that someone very close to him had passed. Another young person in the prime of his life.

Life is one of those things to be cherished. It can be so great but so sad. It can last so long, and yet be taken away so quickly. It can mean one thing to you, and yet a completely different thing to another.

So for all those who have passed, wherever you are...R.I.P.

EEEEEWWWWWW...You're Sweaty!!!!

So, I went to a horrible party last weekend. It was a real sweat box, and of course the sweatiest guys are the ones that brush against me and talk to me, etc.... Why is that always the case? Why is it that the ones who you do not want coming into contact with you are the ones to do so? I had to look down to see if my shirt said "Please Speak to Me if You are SWEATY". Now, I know at times I may come across as being stush [stush: a girl who believes that she is hot, sexy, the shit, etc...], but if you saw what my friends and I were faced with that night, you would understand.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!

Well "bloggers" and "bloggettes" today is yet another important day--it is my DADDY'S Birthday. So HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY, hope you have a great day and finally get some rest and relaxation. :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY "MUMMY"

Today is my "mummy's" birthday. In honor (or 'honour', for you English spellers) of her day, I would like to wish her a Happy Happy Happy Birthday. I hope you have a wonderful day!!!!!!!!!!

PROCRASTINATION...It's a BITCH

So today I embark on yet another day of procrastination. I have a Sports Law paper hanging over my head that constitutes my ENTIRE grade. I have completed the research for this paper, but cannot seem to sit down and write. Please understand that I have tried to write this paper several times. In fact, I have written one page (albeit it is mainly headings), and as I "blog" away, all my research is spread throughout my apartment, awaiting a burst of scholarly determination.

I have a rough draft of this paper along with a power point presentation due on Monday. I really should just take my ass to a library or something and hammer this out. But am I going to do that---NOPE---I am a PROCRASTINATOR. Maybe I will just take a nap. I mean what is another hour, or two, or three, wasted? If anyone out there suffers from this disorder as well, please tell me how to beat it, because it is slowly killing me.

The Pontiff's Funeral

So this is my first "blog". Haven't gotten use to the idea of publishing my thoughts for everyone to view, but I am curious to see the responses that I may get from them. Well today was the funeral of Pope John Paul II. I am not a "religious" person, but I find that as I get older I am becoming a "spiritual" person. For example, the Pope's funeral occurred at 4AM my time, I did not set an alarm or anything like that, but I woke up right when it stated, so I watched it. I must say, I was floored by the Gregorian Chanting and songs from the Sistine Chapel choir. It was amazing. And the mass of people that congregated around the world for the funeral was incredible. One thing is for sure, I may not be a roman catholic, but this morning I did feel something. A part of me would like to think that it was my humanity, but there is the other side that questions my "logical" thinking. Growth--it is something.