A Poem to My Friend

When I shed my tears,
It's not for fear,
But the absence of a friend.

I know he's there,
Although not here,
But it seems the pain won't end.

Over the course of months,
I have tried to heal,
This hole that's in my heart.

This emptiness,
This sadness,
Does not let me understand why we were forced to part.

I miss you my dear,
A friendship so rare,
God only knows what we had was real.

Oh Jamie, my friend,
This can't be the end,
Because I see you in my dreams.

But the smell of the morning always wakes me,
To the point that I am forced to see,
That my friend, my dear was taken from me,
And I must begin to heal.

But no worries my friend,
We will meet again,
And rekindle what we had.

Till then my friend,
I won't think of the end,
But reminise on the times we had.

This Aint Oprah's Book Club, Part V

Ladies and Gentlemen I have just completed Confessions of a Video Vixen, by Karrine Steffens. This book definitely WAS NOT and WILL NOT ever be a part of Oprah's Book Club, but it was a very interesting read. The stories that make up this "memoir" are quite unimaginable for someone like myself who's romantic life has been fairly "by the book".

The book begins with Karrine (or Yizette as she was commonly know as for many years in both the hip hop circuit and stripping arena) telling the reader about her childhood, which was marred by abuse and rape. She discusses her abusive common law marriage with Kool G Rap and then transitions to her life in Los Angeles, California. It is when she moves to LA that her sexual escapades and prowess takes form. All I can say is "WOW". This chic here...Let me just tell you this, she has been with the likes of everyone. If you can think of the name, chances are...she's been there...

However, my feelings for Karrine flip-flopped throughout the read. Sometimes I felt sorry for her, as her past is what drove her to such slack behavior, and at others I was like..."DIS 'ERE BITCH IS A HOE". But guess what, this book has definitely made her some money...and for that I 'aint mad. She was smart and capitalized on her story. This book is a New York Times Best Seller and is quite entertaining to say the least. My suggestion, if you want to laugh or just say "HOLY SHIT"...pick this book up. Its a quick read...I did it in 2 days (could have done it in 1, but a girl's gotta work...because unlike Karrine I don't use my body to get ahead...just my mind).

On a scale of 1-5 (with 1 being the lowest and 5 being the highest), I give this book a 2.5. Now you probably wonder why I scored this book so low...Well it really has NO literary content. It was like reading US Weekly or InStyle...but it was funny.

Again, all I can say is...WOW!!!!

Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen

This happens to be my favorite graduation speech. It is buy Baz Luhrman, who was responsible for writing Moulin Rouge.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '99... wear sunscreen.

If I could offer you one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long benefits of sunscreen have been provided by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience... I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and the beauty of your youth; oh never mind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked... You're not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve algebra by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be the things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts, don't put up with people who are reckless with yours'.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind... the race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life... the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't, maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't, maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary... whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either - your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body, use it every way your can... don't be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance... even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents, you never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on to. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography in lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you'll fantasize that when your were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time it's 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen... "

The Countdown Has Begun

OH MY GOSH!!!! The countdown has begun...14 days to go...

So I am about to hit the big 25, and I am having a 1/4 life crisis. I am about to be a 1/4 century. And trust me I know its young, but 25 is the point where it really hits you...SHIT I am an ADULT. Once you hit 25, that's it. You can no longer be irresponsible and do things at your whim and fancy. Granted, once you hit 18 you really you have to start looking at the big picture of life to some extent., but 25 is the kick in the ass. I was wondering why that is.

I mean turning 25 is not like turning 18 or 21. There are no rights of passage that you get for turning 25 (unless you count the fact that you can now rent an SUV w/ no penalties and extra charges). But 25 has me re-assessing my goals. We all set goals for ourselves to some extent, and for the most part I am achieving mine. But the time frame I set when I was 17 is certainly not realistic. Life moved at a slower pace when I was in my teens, but shit man, once I hit 20...I swear to you...that shit just started flying by. Seriously, you blink and its the next day, you blink and its the next year, you blink and all your firends are getting married and have kids, you blink and you got debt and grown ass responsibilities.

No longer can I make that pitiful plea for help from my daddy. You know what response I get now..."Hun, you are a professional". But truth be told...that feels so bizarre to me. Like seriously, I don't feel like I am at the age where I can have kids and a family...but in reality I am. That is so fucking crazy. Who would have thought that little old Nandi who was, as giddie and clueless as the next young girl, flipping around and bouncing off the walls of the gym (gymnastics) would be having these thoughts? I can tell you one person who didn't...ME. I just thought life would just follow a course and things would fall into place, but that is not true at all. In fact it is quite the opposite. And what I have learned recently is that "LIFE HAPPENS", so you better jump on and enjoy the ride because you blink and its over.

JAMAICA IS...ALL THIS & MORE

Jamaica is...Blue Mountain Coffee and Sorrel
Jamaica is...Rum and Red Stripe
Jamaica is...Kola Champagne, Manish Water
Jamaica is...Jerk Chicken/Pork, Scotch Bonnet, Hardough Bread
Jamaica is...FryFish & Bammy, Coco Bread & Patty
Jamaica is...Irie, Nyabingi, Boogooyaga, Legobeast
Jamaica is...Cornmeal Dumplin, Dasheen, Yam, Coco.
Jamaica is...Pimento, Ackee & SaltFish, Black Mango, Star Apple
Jamaica is...Miss Lou
Jamaica is...Anansi and Big Boy stories
Jamaica is...Jackfruit, Juneplum, Nesberry, Ginep and Hogplum
Jamaica is...Busta, Icey mint, and Paradise plum
Jamaica is...Sinking toe, Drops, Gizzada, and Grater cake
Jamaica is...Bun and cheese, Sorrel and Rum cake
Jamaica is...GRANDMARKET NIGHT!
Jamaica is...Doouckunu, Dip and Fall Back, and Run-down
Jamaica is...Bulla, Totoe, Festival and SaltFish Fritters
Jamaica is...Peppa shrimps, blue draws, and Roast breadfruit
Jamaica is...Chalice, splif, sensi and lambs bread
Jamaica is...Cool runnings, cease and settle, haul and pull up, and nuffrespect
Jamaica is...Reggae Boyz
Jamaica is...Ital stew, Strong Back, Irish Moss, Circey Tea
Jamaica is...Kin-Puppa-Lick!!,Blouse and skirt!!, Gouzum!!
Jamaica is...Rhattid!!, Blough-wow!!, Geeze-u-wiz!!
Jamaica is...Boonoonoonous
Jamaica is...Suck-suck and sky-juice
Jamaica is...Wi likkle but wi tal-a-wa!
Jamaica is...Wey yu a sey, What a gwan & How it a go dung
Jamaica is...bull-buck and duppy conqueror
Jamaica is...Zinc fence and gully water
Jamaica is...Escoviche fish, julie mango, Oxtail, tripe and beans
Jamaica is...Icy mint an bus-mi-jaw
Jamaica is...Stop de cow bawlng eena de place
Jamaica is...Anyting wha sweet yu gwine sour yu
Jamaica is...Weh yu, and kibba yu mout
Jamaica is...Dandy Shandy
Jamaica is...A hell an powdah house dunga tiday
Jamaica is...Nu mek mi spit an it dry up before yu cum back
Jamaica is...Blouse an' skirt, and kiss mi neck back.

JAMAICA IS EVERYTHING WE ARE AND MUCH MUCH MORE...JAMAICA LAND WE LOVE!!

IFYOU LOOK AT THIS LIST AND YOUR HEART SMILES...YOU'RE DEFNIITELY JAMAICAN!!

1/4 Century Mark

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about my life, and where I want it to go, as well as where it should be. I had set some life goals for myself to meet by the time I was 30 when I was 17/18. However, quite a few of those goals were unrealistic. One of my goals was to have all of my kids by the time I reach 30. Now that is a joke. I am approaching 25 in a few weeks, and there is just no way I am ready for a kid, much less "kids". My mom had me when she was 23, however, it was a different time then, and 23 in 1980/81 is today's 33. Now the problem I am having is this...I do not want to be 45 when my kids are 10. I want to be that "young and hip" mom. But really and truly, I just do not see myself having kids in the next 5 years. There is so much that I want to do before I have kids, like travel, make some money, and of course, party. Is that selfish? I think not. Anyways they say 30 is the new 20, and 40 is the new 30. So I guess that makes me soon to be "15". That does not sound too good, but hell, you get my drift.

The problems of a woman in her mid 20's.

This Aint Oprah's Book Club, Part IV

OK well I should have completed "The Life of Pi" by now. However, that is not the case. It's not that the book is not good...But it is more of a "nighttime" read...And well lately I have just been too tired. No worries though I picked up "The Kite Runner", by Khaled Hosseini, on my way to Jamaica so that I could have something to read on the flight. I must say that I enjoyed this book. "The Kite Runner" is a memoir of an Afghan man looking back at his life. As stated on Hosseini's website it is "an epic tale of fathers and sons, of friendship and betrayal, that takes us from the final days of Afghanistan's monarchy to the atrocities of the present."

From Publishers Weekly
Hosseini's stunning debut novel starts as an eloquent Afghan version of the American immigrant experience in the late 20th century, but betrayal and redemption come to the forefront when the narrator, a writer, returns to his ravaged homeland to rescue the son of his childhood friend after the boy's parents are shot during the Taliban takeover in the mid '90s. Amir, the son of a well-to-do Kabul merchant, is the first-person narrator, who marries, moves to California and becomes a successful novelist. But he remains haunted by a childhood incident in which he betrayed the trust of his best friend, a Hazara boy named Hassan, who receives a brutal beating from some local bullies. After establishing himself in America, Amir learns that the Taliban have murdered Hassan and his wife, raising questions about the fate of his son, Sohrab. Spurred on by childhood guilt, Amir makes the difficult journey to Kabul, only to learn the boy has been enslaved by a former childhood bully who has become a prominent Taliban official. The price Amir must pay to recover the boy is just one of several brilliant, startling plot twists that make this book memorable both as a political chronicle and a deeply personal tale about how childhood choices affect our adult lives. The character studies alone would make this a noteworthy debut, from the portrait of the sensitive, insecure Amir to the multilayered development of his father, Baba, whose sacrifices and scandalous behavior are fully revealed only when Amir returns to Afghanistan and learns the true nature of his relationship to Hassan. Add an incisive, perceptive examination of recent Afghan history and its ramifications in both America and the Middle East, and the result is a complete work of literature that succeeds in exploring the culture of a previously obscure nation that has become a pivot point in the global politics of the new millennium.

On a scale of 1-5 (1 being the worst and 5 being the best) I give "The Kite Runner" a 4. Not bad for an author's first book.

The Re-Emergence

Please let me first start off by apologizing to all my fellow bloggers for my lack of postings these past few weeks. I have been very busy with "life" and just have not had the time to dedicate to it. Anyways a lot has happened to me over these past few weeks. I moved into a new place, my sister moved away, I spent my first Holiday season away from family, and I lost one of my best friends. Overall my 2005 did not end well, nor did my 2006 start well. However, one thing I can say is that it can only go up from here (I hope...because I can't imagine it getting any worse). But my words of advice for all who read this post are as follows:

"Tomorrow is not promised. Therefore, we must live each day with goodness in our hearts for ourselves as well others. We must also remember to tell people who are important to us that we love them; sometimes we assume that people know that but in reality we need to hear those things. We also need to enjoy each and every day that we have...even if we spend the day doing nothing but laying in bed. Remember life happens...so make your days count and make your mark so that you are forever remembered and loved."

RIP Jamie Lue...a true friend (11/9/80-12/31/05).

This Aint Oprah's Book Club, Part III

Boy these "Oprah Book Club" posts must have me looking like a true old school Bookworm. I really am not a bookworm, but I have been reading quite a lot lately. So I have another book to add to my review list.

I complete The Devil Wears Prada sometime in the middle of last week. I enjoyed this book. It was a story of a recent college graduate who landed a job for a high powered fashion magazine editor. The magazine editor was a true Bitch and made the main character's life a nightmare. There were some funny parts, and any young professional can definitely relate to this book.

On a scale of 1-5 (with a 5 being the best), I give this book a score somewhere between a 3.5 and a 4.

Now I have started to read The Life of Pi. I am only on page 20 something, but I have heard great reviews of this book, so fellow bloggers look out for a review in a couple weeks. I would have a review out sooner, but Thanksgiving is coming up, and well I may be comatose for a few days.

California Barred

Well the last couple weeks have been very difficult for me because I was stressing about my California Bar results. The results came out on Friday (11/18), and I am TOTALLY EXCITED that I can say......."I PASSED"!!!!!!!!! I took it ONCE and I am so glad I dont have to take it again. I have not felt this sense of accomplishment in a long time...hell, probably never.